For Family Members

What Family Members Can Do To Help A Person Starting Dialysis

People with kidney disease have to deal with numerous difficulties, most often for a very long period of time. They have to make adjustments physically, emotionally, psychologically, and interpersonally. Families, spouses, friends, health professionals, and the community can heavily influence how they manage these changes. As a family member, you can help by providing reassurance, predictability, and direction.

When a person discovers that they have kidney problems, they go through a number of adjustments that affect how they see themselves as a person, how they fit into their family, and community, and what they can expect from themselves. They are on an emotional roller coaster. Small problems that may have been easily managed in the past often become temporarily insurmountable until the person has learned to adjust to their situation.

Being a caregiver for a kidney patient, you are as directly affected by their emotional state as they are by yours. This can be a very trying time for you too. How you respond often gives the dialysis patient cues as to how they should react. It is therefore quite important that you establish this time as an opportunity to provide an atmosphere of self-care and responsibility. This is something that the kidney patient may be temporarily unable to provide for himself or herself.

How the patient manages at this point is often linked to how you take care of yourself. They will take their cue from you and respond in kind. If you are calm, functional, supportive, and helpful, they will be calmer, less fearful, and reassured. It is very important to get the person to take as much responsibility for himself or herself as possible. This needs to be done without being unnecessarily controlling, dismissive of their concerns, demanding, or too apprehensive.

Kidney disease is a long-term issue, so it becomes equally important for you as a caregiver to pay attention to your needs. Much of the time it feels easier to dismiss your own needs so that you can pay attention to theirs. Of course, what often happens is that you reach a point of burnout or exhaustion. There are ways to prevent this. Decide to care for yourself along the way. Take breaks, build in recreation times, and pay attention to your sleep needs. It is most important for you to talk with others about your own experiences. Discuss your feelings and look for ways to find balance.

In being connected with a kidney patient, you may find that you will be completing instrumental tasks on their behalf, or at least encouraging them to do these tasks themselves. It may be necessary for you to assist is arranging finances, transportation, or to arrange other necessary resources. You may be asked to help intervene on their behalf with service agencies, health professionals, or community resources. All of these activities take time and patience, yet are tasks that can be achieved.

The health care team is here to help you. You may ask any staff member to help direct you to the most appropriate person to help you with your concerns.